unpopular

Stage twenty - Lantern man

 

So many options for this final stage. Who to celebrate? Cavendish for his fifth stage win of the race? Schleck for the grace he has shown in defeat? Petacchi for his green jersey? Anthony Charteau for claiming the king of the mountains? Contador for sneaking the overall victory? Anyone of these would be worthy, but instead I've gone for the last placed rider on general classification, Adriano Milano (judging by the official Lampre photo part of his problem might have been having no bicycle...). 

By tradition the last placed rider is called the Lanterne Rouge and in the past riders have gone out of their way to 'win' the title. If that seems odd, then you must understand that it is mainly because the Lanterne Rouge carries it's own mythology which proves helpful in securing the lucrative post-Tour criterium races where riders have traditionally earned much of their crust. Besides which, just finishing a Tour De France is an enormous achievement. Chapeau Adriano, and all the other 170 riders who completed the route this year.

'Lantern Man' - The Wild Swans

Stage nineteen - The only truth

They call the individual time trial the race of truth, and with good reason. Sure,the weather can throw a curve-ball into the results sometimes but generally it's the strongest who wins. I used to hate time trials when I was young. I was always so scrawny and weak, and the wind would blow me every which way (and in the west coast of Scotland it is always windy). Fabian Cancellara I was not.

My champion of the day however is not any of the Tour professionals. Instead it is the young lad I saw riding up Holcombe Down Road out of Dawlish. It's a tough old climb, averaging around 10% I guess, with a very steep section over 20% at the top. Yet there he was, no older than 8 or 9 I reckon, decked out in his oversized HTC jersey battling gamely out of the saddle. Chapeau jeune fils, chapeau!

'The Only Truth' - Paul Haig

Stage eighteen - Bordeaux

Nice to see Cavendish follow in the wheel-tracks of Barry Hoban and win in the sprinters' paradise of Bordeaux. 

'Bordeaux' - The Durutti Column

Stage seventeen - You've got the power

 

'You've Got The Power' - Win

Song for the colour yellow

 The second and last rest day of Le Tour today, so here's a tune for the coveted Maillot Jaune, whoever ends up wearing it in Paris on Sunday.

'Song For The Colour Yellow' - Spearmint

Stage sixteen - French guy 1 and 2

Another stage win for the French! What a fine Tour they are having.

'French Guy 1 & 2' - Frankie Machine

Stage fifteen - Sure, Bert

A day of mixed emotions. Joy for the always entertaining Tommy Voeckler solo-ing to a superb victory in the French champion’s jersey and despair mixed with anger for Andy Schleck losing his yellow jersey along with his chain on the Port de Bales. As for Contador, well, my respect for the man went down a notch when he clearly made no acknowledgement of Schleck’s mechanical problem and pressed home a lucky advantage. In these days of earpiece radios and instant feedback from team director’s, the whole “I didn’t know Schleck had a mechanical” line must surely be greeted with a raised eyebrow and a “yeah, right, sure, Bert...”. Mind you, the way Schleck distanced everyone with his attack, we can surely look forward to some fireworks on the final two stages in the Pyrenees. As Andy said after the finish: "My stomach is full of anger. I want to take my revenge." Bring it on!

‘Sure, Bert’ - The Mystic Chords of Memory

Stage fourteen - Mountains, part 1

An intriguing game of cat and mouse today in the first Pyrenean stage with Schleck and Contador almost doing enough to offer a GC lifeline to the likes of Menchov and Sanchez. Will they be as daft in the coming days? I kind of doubt it, but it’s been such a crazy race so far that anything’s still possible.

Appliance - ‘Mountains Part 1’

Stage thirteen - Your blood's too thick

Anyone remotely excited by a Vino stage win today? Thought not. So here's a photo of the official accordion bus of Le Tour. Yes, really.

Anagram - 'Your Blood's Too Thick'

Stage twelve - Under attack

There was a moment on the last climb to the airfield today when I thought Contador looked on the edge whilst Andy ‘Bez’ Schleck looked imperturbably comfortable. Just goes to show, eh? Still, the gap could have been so much more than ten seconds had Bertie not started to play silly buggers with his compatriot Rodriguez for the win. It’ll be interesting to see how they fare in the high Pyrenees...

ABBA - 'Under Attack'