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April 22, 2007



Would it help if I said that I've never felt I belong with anybody who found it easy to belong?


"It has always been thus, however, for as long as I can remember. The tension between wanting to belong and the need to not belong at all. The fear at being too ugly, too stupid, too obvious, too young, too old, too everything in the world that you can imagine and more besides."

wow. that sums up about where i am right now (and probably have been all along?).


thanks Dimitra, that does help, and it does make so much sense, yes. And Tyler, isn't it good to know it's not just you that feels that way? i know i find that. And don't you also find there is a tension between wanting to express those thoughts and the feeling that doing so only makes it worse; only makes you seem even more of a hopeless 'emo' feeling sorry for themselves. When in reality it isn't that at all, is something so much more complex.

Anyway, back at work now, and i should be thinking about much more important things.

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