I don't really read newspapers (see the point about Obituries columns below) so I missed this in The Guardian. I do read blogs however, and enjoyed Davy H's responses on his fab 'The Ghost Of Electricity'. Naturally I could not resist having a go myself. How do you fare?
You think it's about time you bought a nasal hair trimmer.
It has been safely housed in the bathroom cabinet for some years.
You can't sit down or stand up without making an "effort" noise.
Getting up from the sofa, certainly. I’m sure that’s just because the sofa is getting lower though.
You write a letter to your council about rubbish collection.
Thankfully no longer necessary now we live in a village. But actually one of the reasons we left the city...
All your friends start buying dogs.
You become a bystander to the latest trends in denim.
There are trends in denim? I thought they were just jeans.
You notice your legs are going bald (men).
Perhaps unsurprisingly, only after I’ve shaved them. Actually it’s getting to that time of year again isn’t it?
You have a colourist (women).
Why would you want that? It would ruin your clothes, all those felt tip marks...
You listen to Radio 1 and don't understand any of it.
Never did understand Radio 1. Or listen to it. At least not since I was 14.
You rely on the kids for IT advice.
Ha! That’s so funny it’s not even funny. Or something.
You start flossing.
I know I should... does having an electric toothbrush count?
You wonder if there are cruise holidays not full of senior citizens.
Still don’t see the point of cruise holidays. Hope I never do :)
Tanktops, gilets, bodywarmers – sleeveless items of clothing begin to appeal.
I would only ever wear a gilet when riding a bicycle. And frequently do.
You know when the Chelsea Flower Show is.
No idea. I expect the Duchess does though.
You worry about your knees
You don't wear heels in daylight.
I certainly try and avoid it.
The first thing you read in the obituaries column is age of death.
I almost never look at the obituaries column. I also hardly ever look at a newspaper.
You start getting your wine delivered.
Did that then stopped. Now it’s more likely to be beer.
You no longer scan the room for beautiful people at a party. You're looking for a seat.
You start each day thinking you should live it like your last. But you don't.
Nope. I just start each day certain I have forgotten to do something really important.
Your ears get bigger.
I have Simple Ears, so that would probably be a good thing.
You know you haven't got a novel in you.
At least not a good one...
All your favourite TV is on Sunday night.
All my favourite TV is on DVD box-sets. Or iTunes. Or Netflix. Certainly somewhere other than actual scheduled TV.